and i give them away
mission: the soul search
status: currently in progress
duration: from now until the day i breathe my last
college isn’t jus about academics. it’s about finding yourself outside of the classroom along the way.
chris brown – i can transform ya. my god i love this song. and i’m only discovering it now. that’s the downside of not listening to the radio. you don’t get to hear the few good mainstream songs out there.
that’s one of the things i first noticed about hawaii.. wayyy back during sophomore year when i first visited this place with the regiment. everything jus seems… closer to you. nature wise, i mean. the stars are brighter and bigger. the clouds look lyk they’re alive n moving, rather than looking lyk they’re permanently pasted into the sky. the plants are greener. the wind blows more fiercely. the rain falls whenever it sees fit.
i mentioned in one of my blogs before that i have a great view from my dorm. sometimes, even if its jus for a few seconds, i jus sit at my desk n admire everything mother earth has to offer. i dunno.. life jus seems so much more peaceful when you actually take the time to slow down n notice the little things lyk that.
topic change. i hate doing my laundry. for one thing, it sucks that i have to pay to do it. second, the laundry room is lyk a tiny little battle field. you’d better come at the right time of day n week to get a washer. don’t forget about your clothes.. or you might find them sitting out to rot in its moisture. n never.. EVER… leave your laundry basket unattended. if you wanna see it again, take it back with you to your room.
oh n how i love white boys who listen to gangster rap in the weight room. quite funny, i must say.
ok so besides that, my input on college life so far is.. well… it’s ok. hahah no. i take that back. it’s cool. i definitely lyk it. love it even. after living in hawaii for 2 n 1/2 months, i’ve come to realize that this place isn’t perfect. i mean yea, to some it may seem lyk the perfect vacation spot, but living here is a whole other story. jus lyk california, this place has its pros n cons. jus lyk california, there are things about this place that i love n hate all at the same time. but after having mixed feelings n going back n forth on whether or not i should stay here.. i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s way to soon to come up with a decision. if anything, i should stay here until the end of the year n wait until then to give my final answer. the first year of college, or at least the first semester, is always the hardest. you have to make alot of adjustments, especially if you’re out on your own. but the only thing i can do is stick it out n give it a chance. it’s too soon to give up n it’s too late to turn back. so during my time here, whether it’s a year long or 4 years long, i might as well make the most of it.
i haven’t taken pics lately. i do have a camera, but i’m not much of a picture taker. it’s ok though.. i have all year to put pix up.
have you ever had those moments when your thoughts became so overwhelming that you jus needed to lay down n straighten it all out. but when you tried.. your thoughts became so loud that it all turned into static noise?
immortal technique – leaving the past. “some ppl think i won’t make it, but i know that i will. escape the emptiness cuz that shit is slow and it kills. the flow and the skill. i made yall believe it at last. you can make a future, but it starts with leaving the past.”
‘there will be times when you will be pushed to the point of exhaustion, and you will want to quit. but the question is.. will you?’
because i asked God to bring me here. because God answered my prayer and brought me here for a reason. because i chose to come here. because i will take responsibility for my decisions and accept the consequences. because i am here to live and to learn. because i am here to chase and to catch a dream. because i am here to accomplish something. because i have to finish what i started. because i believe i am more than strong enough and fully capable. because i am too proud and much too stubborn to say “i give up”. because i will not let anyone tell me that i can’t. because i will not let myself tell me that i can’t. because i will not look back and ask myself “what if?”. because if i am pushed, i will push back thrice as hard. because i will get up everytime i fall. because i will smile twentyfold for every tear that i shed. because i see every scar as nothing but a scratch. because i refuse to let go. because i will never run away. because i have the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. because..
unspoken heard – soon come
so confusing living in a new city. it’s lyk.. you know it has everything, but you don’t know where everything is. but if i ever get lost, i don’t fret. instead i say that i’m getting lost on purpose. why? cuz it’s a learning experience. even though getting lost can be annoying, i’ll find my way eventually. once i do, i’ll know better for next time. “the most important thing is to get lost.”
and it’s not that i’m not afraid of getting lost. it’s that i’m not afraid of being afraid. being afraid is perfectly normally. i think that being afraid is even better than being fearless. because when you’re afraid, you acknowledge that a challenge is a challenge. you’re more aware of what a challenge is asking of you and the strain that the challenge is gonna cause. so in otherwords, it’s ok to be afraid. it’s jus that you shouldn’t let that fear consume you. instead, use it to your advantage and let it make you stronger.
funny how i thought of all this while i was walking around in the mall.
rebel souljahz – the one. after the welcome back bash last night, i think i have a newfound appreciation for reggae music ((:
